It’s unfortunate, we live in a day where people don’t believe in closure. Usually those same people don’t believe in opening either. Somehow that’s how we end up stuck in the middle; battling our pain silently while working “effectively.”
What I have come to realize is your past will walk with you, catch up to you, or meet you at the finish line if—you don’t face it and deal with it. To everything there is a beginning and an end. We can sensationalize and emotionalize our healing process but doing that…as great as it may feel at that time only last for a moment! It’s a temporary fixture to a permanent matter.
You may not be one who continues the cycle of your pain with your actions but if you harbor unforgiveness, bitterness, and disdain for someone who you “feel” has hurt you without resolve, communication or reasoning, that person has become a TRIGGER to a past unresolved.
Reflecting over my life, a lot of my painful experiences happened at the hands of people that went to church just like I did. A lot of the pain I caused and inflicted was to the people I churched with. It’s a never/ending cycle.
Victims that do not get healed become victimizers sometimes unaware and unknowingly to them. Sometimes you become what you hated. May not be on the same level but sometime it’s through seeking power, control, and domination. The need to feel superior and making sure others are subservient to you shouldn’t be a goal…but when you have been dominated, suppressed and treated like less than you innately seek to be what tried to destroy you. Anyone that stands against your defensive mechanism of power becomes a trigger and you cancel them or you ostracize them. This is not new. This is a cycle. A vicious, ugly, dirty cycle. As holy as we claim to be. As chaste as we claim to be. If our heart is wicked and hateful all of us are still going to be judged just like the most egregious sinner you can think of. God will judge your heart! He’s judging mine every single day.
That’s why I pursue peace. Not because I feel like it! I have wronged and I have been wronged! But my heart is set up different! I love God! Quite honestly, I’m not one who fasts for 40 days and 40 nights. I’m not one who reads my Bible every day. I meditate on scriptures day and night and I try my best to live the Word. My heart can’t be cluttered with unforgiveness when God chose to use me through my heart posture. So I forgive the seemingly unforgettable. Because I love God!
If you love Him… It’s timeout for doing “church with hurt”
Shouting and Rolling your eyes...
Praising and not Speaking...
Praying and not Forgiving...
Gossiping and not Reasoning...
Who are we?!
Church we need healing. We can’t be presented like this.
I will not be silent.